Why Managers Learned Everything They Need to Know in Kindergarten March 29, 2018 Practice Tip 995 We have all seen the "Everything I know, I learned in Kindergarten" poster on a teacher's wall or a friend's Facebook post. It resonates because it holds some very simple truths. While the problems that we encounter in the workplace have far more serious implications than who got to use the red marker first, the way in which we interact and resolve conflicts amongst employees could be more successful if we returned to rules and values we learned years ago. As an experienced employment attorney, I have seen situations quickly escalate from minor misunderstandings to costly, mud-slinging lawsuits. When the opposing parties get entrenched in their positions, and both want to be declared "right" there are missed opportunities to reflect on the viewpoints of everyone involved, and to offer respect, an explanation, and maybe an apology for unintentionally hurting someone. A large percentage of employees will not sue when they have been given a fair opportunity to present their thoughts, and have their concerns addressed, even if the end result is not what they desired. Below are some suggestions for how management professionals can better strengthen their teams and open the channels for problem solving, using techniques they already have in their toolkits. SHARE EVERYTHING What does this mean in the workplace setting? Figuratively, it means sharing the goals and the struggles of the business. Employees who are not included in the vision of the business or the challenges that are encountered often feel like a cog in the wheel. An overlooked cog in the wheel. Maybe they don't understand that the boss took away the fancy coffee machine because there is a priority on making payroll and cash flow is on a decline. Perhaps the implementation of a time-clock system, or a new policy is because the company was exposed to liability and needs to protect itself and, in turn, its' employees. Sharing everything means giving an explanation as to why someone received the coveted promotion; it is not because they know the boss' wife's third cousin, but because they wrote a proposal to a client which increased the cost of the sale by 25%. When decisions are made at the top, and the only communication made to the employees is the result, not the reasoning, it can lead to the wrong conclusions being drawn. Even if the employee's job is mundane, or not highly skilled, there is room to make them feel included and to understand how their contribution impacts the greater goal. It is not a weakness to share the ups and downs of the business, it creates an investment in success. PLAY FAIR When management makes decisions that affect employees' terms, conditions, and benefits of employment, without considering the consistency of those actions, discrimination claims surface. The decisions may be made without any discriminatory intent, however, from the employee's viewpoint, it may feel like they are being singled out or scrutinized, or watching others receive opportunities that they feel they should have been given. Children are very much attuned to ideals of fairness. For those of us who are parents, we often hear our children say, "he got more cookies than I did" or "she gets to stay up later watching tv." When we respond to these statements we usually give an explanation that involves the reasoning we used… "he ate his vegetables, so he got two cookies" or "your sister is older than you." Adults in the workplace are equally observant as to who gets what, and why. The best thing management can do to protect the company from liability is to apply policies and practices consistently and fairly across the board. If the employee knows that the corner office is given to the most senior staff member, there is a managed expectation that they will receive that perk when their seniority trumps everyone else. When workers feel that there is an even playing field, it creates a more positive and healthy work environment. SAY YOU'RE SORRY WHEN YOU HURT SOMEBODY In this litigious society, there is a feeling that an apology will automatically be an admission of guilt and could affect legal liability. Yet, in many of the lawsuits brought on behalf of employees, they just wanted an acknowledgement that a mistake had been made. Perhaps, the employer miscalculated the length of a disability leave, or failed to consider an accommodation that would have allowed an employee to get back to work. Or, maybe the manager did not consider all the pertinent facts in their performance review before denying the bonus. I was often asked by clients during a settlement negotiation if the company would write a letter of apology or convey some feeling of remorse. We tell our children to own up to their mistakes and to apologize. Why then, as adults, do we avoid the two words that may smooth over the conflict and allow the participants to move forward? The power of an apology should outweigh the fear of admitting a failure. DON'T TAKE THINGS THAT ARE NOT YOURS This piece of advice is not about swiping the last piece of strawberry pie in the office fridge that has ‘MIKE" written all over the box. This tip concerns the abuse of power and taking credit for someone else's efforts. I had a case where a marriage and family therapist had implemented a new patient screening process and the younger woman who was her boss, implemented it as if it was her idea. In addition to other factors, my client felt she was being pushed out due to her age, and that her contribution to the clinic was no longer valued. The best leaders recognize and advance the efforts of those they supervise. This is truly the mark of a superior leader. Taking credit for something that is not yours will inevitably lead to contempt, which results in bitterness and resentment. USE YOUR WORDS If I had a nickel for every time I told one of my kids to "Use Your Words" I would be sitting on a beach in Hawaii right now. Instead, I advise my management clients to use their words in a few different contexts. Documentation of performance deficiencies, or conversations where expectations and guidance were given are key to protecting an organization. Management must write down key discussions with an employee, with the mindset that these memorialized discussions could be used as evidence in a courtroom. Written proof of coaching (I.e., an email, memo, log, etc.) is a powerful tool to demonstrate that an employee was warned and given opportunities for improvement prior to an adverse action being taken. Second, managers must be conscious of the power of body language. Yelling, screaming, pointing a finger, standing over someone's shoulders may convey that expectations are not being met, but it will not accomplish the goal of getting the employee to comply. As with any healthy relationship, communication and mutual respect are key. Management must make an effort to listen and to express their observations in a non-threatening and non-demeaning manner. THE GOLDEN RULE So often in employment lawsuits, the issue decided is whether management was "following the law" or whether they were acting with a discriminatory intent. After all the arguments and motions and documents are presented, the question that jurors wrestle with becomes very simple. Jurors ask themselves, "Did the employer treat the employee the way they (the jurors) would want to be treated?" While lawmakers make things more complicated than necessary, our collective sense of justice is still informed by the golden rule. Now is the time to take these childhood lessons out of the old crayon box, dust them off, and create workplaces that reflect the pledge we said in unison, "with liberty and justice for all." _________ About the Authors: Alexis D. James and Renee N. Noy are employment attorneys and co-owners of the firm, WorkWise Law, PC. Having practiced on both sides of the employment equation, for a combined 27 years, Alexis and Renee are solely focused on aiding business owners with their legal compliance requirements and preventing unnecessary disputes. Recent speaking engagements include the National Association of Women Business Owners, Professionals In Human Resources Association, Southern California Association for Hospital Risk Management, and the Los Angeles County Medical Association.